Bryan Carver’s e-mail to Shane Davidson, posted on this blog in ‘Freedom Scientific Responds to Pooh Bear’, inspired the declaration of April 11, 2009 as Undo Hardship Day. Thanks Bryan!!! I am carrying forth your spelling of undo even though “undue” (proper spelling) conveys the actual meaning of the word.
Today marks my two year anniversary of relocating to St. Petersburg, Florida. Wil had already been living and working here for six months. My hopes for early retirement and an advancing career for Wil at Freedom Scientific soon turned into the hardest two year challenge of my life. Easter is a time to reflect on all that is to die in order to be reborn and transformed into something better (or so we can hope). The following chronological list of undo hardships has defined this NEW life in St. Petersburg. Is all of this reflective philosophical mumbo jumbo just a big pile of bullshit? It is what it is – a big heaping steaming pile.
Undo Hardships:
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My SSDI was denied with no letter mailed to me.
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Reapplied for SSDI on August 1, 2007.
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Exhausted saving account waiting for SSDI
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Suicidal in October; put on antidepressants.
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Unable to sleep per PTSD and financial stress; given Trazodone.
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Received call from Social Security in November, 2007 stating claim was approved; but received no money.
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Continued financial struggles; unable to pay creditors in December 2008.
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Wil told me he felt better at work than he did at home as his focus was on his job and not our financial stress which made me cry and cry.
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New Year brought Wil’s boss nit picking everything he did at work. His boss pretty much told him he did a shitty job and could do nothing right.
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Creditors call all day; don’t answer phone
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February came in with no SSDI money.
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Creditors call all day; don’t answer phone.
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March 2008 took us to Congressman Young’s office for assistance with SSDI claim.
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Wil could still do nothing right at Freedom Scientific.
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Creditors call all day; don’t answer phone.
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March also brought Wil antidepressants as he was diagnosed with depression.
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April brought Dr. Russell to help us adjust to all the hell we had gone through in the past year (which was supposed to be a great year, NOT).
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Freedom Scientific told Wil he was shit out of luck for a raise – maybe next year.
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Wil’s boss was supposed to have bi-weekly meeting with him to assess his shitty job progress. I think he only had one meeting.
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Wil received e-mails telling him he was a good boy (unfortunately he got canned before he could back them up).
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End of April took us back to Congressman Young’s office as still received no SSDI money. Treated like shit by Social Security for all those months; like a slap in the face to being goo to people in my job for twenty years.
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Creditors call all day; don’t answer phone.
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April brought a five dollars increase in our monthly rent.
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SSDI finally issued early May; stress relief only last 15 short days.
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Creditors call all day; don’t answer phone.
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May 21, 2008: Wil shows up at 4:30pm with a box of stuff from his desk and a resignation agreement as Freedom Scientific canned his ass.
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We lost Wil’s pay.
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We lost our medical insurance (major loss as my meds can easily cost $500.00 per month)
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Saw labor lawyer; said Freedom Scientific had their asses covered; depressed; drank ourselves into oblivion; would have killed Wil and then myself had I had a vial of regular insulin and at least one syringe – very BAD day.
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Received last pay from Freedom Scientific and Unemployment started.
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June 2008 brought NO medical insurance.
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Creditors call all day; don’t answer phone.
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Went home for a week in July – nice and very much needed.
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Bullied by family about going to Tennessee for niece’s wedding.
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Creditors call all day; don’t answer phone.
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August 2008 kept children for supposed friends while they took a week long cruise.
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No medical insurance and creditors still call all day; don’t answer phone.
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Went to Albany, NY for the month of September; kept house and children for friend (supposed) while she had surgery.
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Wil became ill in Albany; couldn’t eat after the 15th; had horrible diarrhea.
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Hard trip back to Tampa as Wil was so sick and dehydrated.
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Did I already say – NO medical insurance? Oh, yeah I did.
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October 1, 2008 Wil was hospitalized.
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October 3, 2008 Wil almost died with perforated colon; colonectomy and ileostomy.
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October 17, 2008 Wil almost bled out rectally in bathroom; hospital via ambulance.
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October 30, 2008 Wil almost bled out again rectally; hospital by ambulance.
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Wil received 10 units of blood in October 2008
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Creditors called all month; but wasn’t home for 26 days to answer phone (at St. Anthony’s hospital with Wil)
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November 2008 relative married a previous coworker of Wil’s – bad as coworker puts job before family association (he’s scared he will be canned too); and relative does passive aggressive things that make that person unpredictable and as mean as that person ever was. It is just like living apart for years like it was back home. Same shit different town.
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Oh, and NO medical insurance.
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Creditors starting to reduce call volume; still don’t answer phone.
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December 2008 skipping glaucoma medication doses to stretch the sample bottles from the doctor as it is unaffordable with no medical insurance.
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December brought the last time getting together with friends (I guess not) as they have moved on. I guess they weren’t friends after all.
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2009 brings more of the same.
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Trying to strategize money to buy Wil’s ostomy supplies.
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No medical insurance.
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Figuring out ways to buy diabetic supplies while Albany friend (I guess not) gets hers free through insurance and sells them on e-Bay.
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Buying glaucoma eye drops with the grocery money.
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Skipping eye drop doses to stretch the bottles so we can buy groceries too.
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A good friend gets fucked over on her job.
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Creditors call infrequently as all has been discharged and our credit utterly sucks. It really doesn’t matter now as we have had to climb from the bottom before.
Bryan Carver told Shane Davidson that he had caused him undo hardship. I must have a very different perspective of the meaning of undo hardship than he. Try declaring such a state of hardship after you have left a secure twenty year career to relocate to another state for your spouse’s promising career only to have it all demolished by that career being blown into oblivion, especially when you were responsible for that demolition. Try talking about hardship when you loose your medical insurance, are unable to purchase life supporting medication, suffer a catastrophic illness with mounting medical bills in the hundreds of thousands. Try talking about hardship when you have used all of your assets to move from another state to take a job when you receive no help with your moving expenses while you watch the company pay for your friend’s move to the tune of close to $4,000.00. Try talking about hardship when your friend gets more than $3.00 per hour more in his salary to perform the same job as you. Try talking about hardship after your friend gets promoted after being on the job for three short months and turns into the type of person who stirs up shit and does nothing but cause trouble for you on your job. Try talking about hardship when you almost loose your spouse three times and watch him/her struggle with the physical and emotional challenges that go with wearing a shit bag on the abdomen including intimacy and its frequency of need for emptying. Try talking about hardship when you watch your spouse sink deeper into depression (needing a stronger dose of meds) and pick up smoking due to the stress after quitting for seven years. Try talking about hardship when relatives are too scared of loosing their jobs because of their association with you. Try talking hardship when your relative spews meanness all over the place because he/she is afraid of any public association with you jeopardizing their own spouse’s job. Try talking about hardship when you are at the end of your financial rope, aren’t sure how your bills will get paid, how you will get groceries, how you will get medicine, and how will generally be able to live period. Until you have had a real taste of what the economy has dished out to us (which, by the way, you are partly responsible for) don’t cry undo hardship to Shane or anyone else. For that matter, learn how to spell the proper word before you use it.
I don’t usually focus on the negativity of our situations because Wil and I have always been fighters and survivors. Despite everything listed above, we both know that we have good opportunities here in St. Petersburg still to better our lives. The hardship that Freedom Scientific caused us by canning Wil will only spur us on to find something better; and know that we will be back on top some day. All I can say now, is that what goes around comes around.
Until next time…