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Ah the luxury of toilet paper!!! This modern commodity, also known as toilet tissue, TP, butt wipes, and shit tickets, has replaced the more primitive method of grabbing a handful of leaves saving the potential ass wiping via poison ivy flora. As children, we were instructed to count toilet paper squares in an effort to conserve the supply that accommodated the four adult and five child asses that shared the one household crapper. Mama sternly told us to count four squares for P (1) and six for S (2) with honesty being the understood shit ticket policy. I remember lots of bitching on her part for all of the cheating that resulted in the use of far more TP that in her opinion was necessary. Our unspoken sibling conspiracy of usage according to individual quantity measurements that differed from mathematical rules learned in school kept her temper hot wondering who the over-users were. Counting squares, a comical memory from our childhoods, reared its head again when Wil informed me last week that he was counting squares in an effort to stretch our TP supply. Although there are plenty of leaves in the back yard, we are not desperate enough yet to necessitate this practice in our current crapper.

Until next time, keep your head above the droppings.

Grocery boost from Sister T and Brother John with goodies and BBQ from Rosy.

My visit to the grocery store dusted off memories of college from the early 80s. the days of Ramen Noodles and Vienna Sausage are being revisited out of economic necessity. Desperate times call for desperate measures as my friend, Amanda is known to say. Desperation, however, does not call for the substitution of those slimy hot dogs that resemble a the bright red look of a boiled lobster and splatter when thrown against the wall for those plump mini wieners because of 30 years of inflation. What can I say about Ramen Noodles? The only change in the past 30 years is a price increase to approximately 20 cents a pack. I did bag some good bargains; and we will not go hungry for the rest of the month. Unfortunately Vienna Sausages and Ramen Noodles don’t soak up beer in the belly like a good old sack of Krystal burgers; but my old body says those partying days are over. I will find humor in these hard times and appreciate the things that I do have.
Thank you Sister T and brother John for the grocery boost! And thank you Rosy for the goodies!
Until next time, keep your head above the droppings.