{"id":5,"date":"2008-04-25T18:37:00","date_gmt":"2008-04-25T22:37:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.wilanddenise.com\/jobina\/?p=5"},"modified":"2008-05-03T11:47:30","modified_gmt":"2008-05-03T15:47:30","slug":"down-with-the-sickness","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.wilanddenise.com\/jobina\/down-with-the-sickness\/","title":{"rendered":"‘Down With The Sickness’"},"content":{"rendered":"

‘Down With The Sickness’ by Disturbed is our family song and my all time favorite.\u00a0 I’m sure that 99 percent of the world is dysfunctional and probably grew up in Hell too.\u00a0 But, I can only speak for myself and my own Hell family experience.\u00a0 During my childhood, I’m sure that both parents opened up\u00a0plenty of\u00a0hate by their physical and emotional abuse as well as neglect; and let it flow into me and my four siblings.\u00a0 I’m sure more demons\u00a0impregnated my psyche\u00a0by eachincident of rape and\u00a0sexual abuse.\u00a0\u00a0Congenital eye problems made it even easier to entrap me.\u00a0 The demons run deep and never seem to end.\u00a0 I have done individual and group type therapy in my adulthood with ten different counselors\/facilitators.\u00a0 The first demons were awakened, as David Draiman puts it, back in my early college days – more than 27 years ago.\u00a0 It seems that the more work I do to better my journey through life, the more demons push their way up from the depths of my psyche.\u00a0 David Draiman is right on when he stated that once the demons\u00a0have been\u00a0awakened, there is no turning back.\u00a0 They can never be re-burried.\u00a0 I thought that I had a pretty good handle on my psyche from doing the\u00a0past years\u00a0of intense therapy, memory recovery, and healing in the early 1990’s.\u00a0 I had a great support system; and still do today.\u00a0 Bohica was spared all of my really bad PTSD work back then.\u00a0 We didn’t meet until 1997.\u00a0 Now that I am not looking after small children or dealing with Child Protection at DFCS, my psyche realizes that I have more time\u00a0to deal with other\u00a0stuff down here in St. Petersburg.\u00a0 I\u00a0feel that old bur familiar\u00a0uneasy pressure of\u00a0demons (unfinished business) waiting to erupt and be dealt with.\u00a0\u00a0No matter how much therapy work I have done in the past, they still have a way of badly scaring me today.\u00a0 I feel\u00a0certain that there\u00a0are some additional memories of violent abuse from my youth that\u00a0are lurking deep beneath my consciousness.\u00a0 A nightmarish incident\u00a0almost escaped while I was dozing one morning last week.\u00a0 It reminded me of my old PTSD days.\u00a0 I don’t know if anyone ever rids himself of all demons.\u00a0 I fear that I have a terminal case of ‘The Sickness’; and that the madness\u00a0will some day totally swallow me up forever.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Until next time…<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

‘Down With The Sickness’ by Disturbed is our family song and my all time favorite.\u00a0 I’m sure that 99 percent of the world is dysfunctional and probably grew up in Hell too.\u00a0 But, I can only speak for myself and my own Hell family experience.\u00a0 During my childhood, I’m sure that both parents opened up\u00a0plenty […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-5","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-life-and-times","7":"h-entry","8":"hentry"},"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p2Dh6V-5","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wilanddenise.com\/jobina\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wilanddenise.com\/jobina\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wilanddenise.com\/jobina\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wilanddenise.com\/jobina\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wilanddenise.com\/jobina\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.wilanddenise.com\/jobina\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.wilanddenise.com\/jobina\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wilanddenise.com\/jobina\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.wilanddenise.com\/jobina\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}